Fair play to Maccy-Dee's for their website www.makeupyourownmind.co.uk, a place where worried customers can air their grievances and ask the questions they want to the faceless corporation.
"Bah! A PR stunt!" I hear you say. Maybe so.
However, judging by some of the questions posed to the fast food giants the website is not a simple FAQ made by the company and there is some straight-faced lackey earnestly answering WHATEVER is posed to McDonalds. Here's a selection taken from the site.
QUESTION: I notice that, in general, people who eat at McDonalds appear to be less healthy and less attractive than those who don't. In your opinion, is this a result of diet or of other economic and social factors?
ANSWER: This is certainly not a conclusion that the company would agree with. All sorts of people, from different walks of life, all with different tastes are welcome to enjoy the food at McDonald's restaurants. With many new additions to the menu and detailed nutritional information available in the restaurants on the reverse of trayliners, on most packaging and via the internet, all customers can make better informed decisions about the food that they eat. (June 2007)
QUESTION Have you stopped poisoning people?
ANSWER: McDonald’s is a legitimate business and sells food and drink acting fully within the laws of the countries where it operates.
QUESTION: I have nightmares about the ronald mcdonald clown... Would you be willing to compensate by sending me some free food vouchers to help me get over my fear of clowns and aid my rehabilitation into society?
ANSWER: McDonald's is saddened to hear that you are having nightmares about Ronald McDonald. As McDonald's Chief Happiness Officer, he has been the face of the company since 1963 and is one of the most recognised characters in the world. Unfortunately, the company will not be able to provide you with any free food vouchers.
QUESTION: Is Ronald McDonal (sic) secretly teaching little boys that it's normal to wear lipstick?
ANSWER: Ronald McDonald is all about teaching children how to understand and enjoy food, to be active, and have lots of fun.
QUESTION: A McDonald's near me got shut down due to a "worrying amount of seman in the fries" how much is a worrying amount, how much is actually allowed in our food?
ANSWER: This is a myth and is not true.
Hint: for the best questions type "Ronald" into their site search engine and enjoy the various different questions and hypothesis of his origin and genealogy.