Tuesday 9 October 2007

Top 5 Radio Ads That Are Doing My Head In

5) Galvin for Women.

You know the one. Woman complains that she has nothing to wear; yer man from Bachelor's Walk suggests going off to Galvin for Women in Tullamore.

It doesn't so much annoy me as disturb me. That little noise he makes as she reveals she might get something sexy for his party is a bit...unsettling. It's like that old man noise when he spots "a fine young girl" in a pub. It's not quite a quiet orgasmic groan, not quite an "ooohhh" but it's a strange place in between. It disturbs me.

4) The new financial regulator ad.

Getting a late night bus has been destroyed by the "I don't know what a tracker mortgage is" man. Many the drunken village idiot thinks he's the hilarious original satirist by doing this on the bus, and now the demons responsible have continued the cult of personality surrounding the guy by giving him a follow up ad.

Do they not realise that this will only encourage more people to mimic this on the nightlink? The knock on effect being more people will risk driving home drunk rather than endure more of this unbearable 'hilarity'. It's Borat all over again I swear...

3) Eircom phone watch.

So most burglaries occur while the occupant is IN THE HOME? Doing everyday chores or watching TV?
Hook myself up with a wire free alarm? Ok. Question.

Who sets the alarm while they're in the house doing the dishes? Does anybody go 'Shit, I'll be absorbed by Prison Break - better set the alarm lest I be robbed?

2) I dont even know what the ad is for.

I switch off. I presume it's for some eye-rejuvenating product. Basically a woman sees a guy in her office with his head in his hands.

'Alright John?'

'Ugh. Late night.'


So. Fucking. Annoying. At that point I switch off. At least I remember what the other ones are for - this ad is both annoying AND fails to inform me of the product.


'Wakey Wakeeeeeeeeeey! This is your little inner voice.'

No it's not. My little inner voice is much deeper and sinister in tone. It tells me to find all responsible for this audio abomination and cut them with rusty blades.

Like number 2 it doesn't sell well; only by making a concerted effort did I find out that this was for a mortgage. Top spot is secured by the repetition of the 'precocious' little shit at the end of the ad.

'wakey wakeeeeey!'

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